Where do I come from ?

Let’s talk about this one
Been dealing with loads of shit for years
I call them shits
But truly, they’re deep layers of pain
That needed my attention
My love
My care
My bravery
AND, a lot of support from people around
People that really could be there for me
I would never have had done all this without
So thank you people
You, people who’ve been there for me
Thank you therapists
Thank you abusers
To have taught me so much about myself
And led me to choose that work
For now
Thank you life,
For having torn me apart
For having destroyed me
Until i wouldn’t know who i was anymore
Thank you existence
For having made me live a roller coaster of emotions
For having me shown hell
So that I can understand heaven better
You were there for me
To remind me that it wouldn’t be that way forever
And it was true
You were not bullshiting me
You were telling me truth
So here I am
Telling the truth
To people I don’t even know

I come from a background of massive addictive behavior
I was an addict to cocaine
I was an addict to alcohol
I was an addict to cigarettes
I was an addict to sex
I was an addict to binge-eating
I drunk till  was blacking out sometimes
Most of the time to be honest
I wanted to disappear
I wanted to be gone
And it worked quite perfectly
Until i couldn’t no more
I couldn’t be gone forever anymore
I needed to come back
And to be myself
So here I am now
Being more and more of myself
Being more and more embodying my true self
No matter what
That takes time for sure
That takes a lot of investment
But gosh, the results are here
Its eleven in the evening
And i can honestly say that
I’m happy to be alive


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