Integrating the subconscious self

So here I am
Wanted to post something
An hour ago
And I got triggered while I started writing about my post
Not sure I’m gonna post it now
But let’s to talk about the trigger
Got into a part of me that felt scared
Scared that people are mean
That was the belief
That was also a pure reflection
Of how I’m scared of my own assholeness
Is a part of me as well
I was actually projecting onto the group
That “people are mean”
And that I’m gonna get judged
Beautiful experience to realise
That I’m the one judging myself
And that I also have the subconscious behaviour
The tendancy
To expect love
From one person only
I think it comes from childhood
Lol of course it does
The only person I thought I could trust
Was my mother
And she was drunk
And she didn’t had time
And we were three kids
I understand now
Where it comes from
That part’s integration was interesting
I’m left with a very positive feeling in my heart
Feeling of peace
I’m on my way towards enlightenment
It’s happening all really well
The pain isn’t alone anymore
The belief got questioned
The fear got really felt
The response was allowed
I got a new temporary tattoo
It came at the end of the parts work
That was my suggestion
As the inner self
To that subconscious aspect of mine
To offer an affirmation
A permission
That’s not bs
That’s based on something that’s really gonna work
According to the conversation
That we had
That aspect
And I

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